After two weeks of ramped-up excitement, I've finally returned to what I consider a normal week. Shuttle to school, work, return home, try to figure out what to eat for supper, help with homework, and get ready for bed. Repeat. It's normal. It's comfortable. It's life.
In the past, any events that occurred outside this comfortable day-by-day routine lead me to a panicked state. I was agitated and didn't enjoy things that should have been fun. My doctor called it a panic disorder caused by a chemical imbalance. I called it a way of life for more than 15 years.
I can't claim that I'm past it all, but I am so much better. I started traveling again about a year ago. I've attended several events where I've had to speak in front of sometimes large groups. And thankfully, I'm doing it without extraordinary stress. I'm no longer existing with a constant fear of having an unexpected panic attack, but rather I relax and understand that I know how to handle it if I do.
Psalm 94:19 In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comforts delight my soul.
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