A Visit

I had not seen my son for a month until last night. He surprised me with a visit after spending the last three weeks in Athens for UGA games. I can't blame him at all because staying for the games is exactly what I would have done! :)

He looked good and it seems he has adjusted to the college life. It's tough starting off in a new place with new people and new classes, but he seemed to have a plan to carry out his goals. I'm so very proud of him, but mostly just happy to be able to hug him. 

A blessing for the children of Israel and a prayer for my son as he returns to campus:

Numbers 6:24-26 "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance  upon you, and give you peace."

Letting Go

If you've been following my posts this summer, you might have noticed that I've been struggling with contentment. I've been writing about stress, relaxation, working, and escaping. Part of my unrest is due to working at one place for 29 years and knowing that I cannot retire because of my age. I feel a bit off-kilter because I could stay with what I'm doing for at least 6 more years or I could explore other pathways. I'm at a crossroad and I'm not sure whether to keep going in the same direction or not. 

I spent most of the week at a conference in Savannah and it was just what I needed. I took some time to talk with friends, enjoy a stroll downtown, and just chill. It was an opportunity to let go of the things on my mind and enjoy being in the moment. It was relaxing and restful, and just what I needed. 

Romans 14:19 Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. 

Remembering

I always find my emotions in turmoil on September 11th. I'm transported back in time with every tribute, flag, prayer, or mention of that horrific day in 2001. I was teaching night classes and caring for my 11 month old during the day. I had just taken him to the doctor and was in the parking lot of an Eckerd's Drugs waiting on a prescription. I was playing the radio when the first report broke. I listened intently as the music stopped and the round the clock reporting began. I retrieved his medicine and drove to my parents' house. They were not aware of the events taking place. I turned on the TV and saw the first images of the towers. 

In just over an hour, life as we knew it changed. There was fear, anger, and a desire to escape. My thoughts were all over the place. My grandfather had passed away 3 months earlier and though I missed him terribly, I was thankful he didn't see it happen. I wondered how life would be different for us and this baby. I wanted to be isolated and at the same time I wanted to be around others. I watched the coverage all day, until I couldn't take the images any more. Even today, I can only watch it for short periods of time. 

In the days following the attack, churches were overflowing with people seeking answers and offering support. If only it didn't take tragedies to understand the power available. 

Isaiah 40:29-31 He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Garage Therapy

I've been working on cleaning out my garage for the past couple of weeks. That has advantages and disadvantages. My garage has been the dumping ground of all things that didn't seem to have a permanent home for maybe the last 15 years. That ranged from toys to yearbooks to papers the kids have done at school. I've spent hours on multiple days going through these boxes in hopes of getting everything organized. I would estimate that I'm halfway to my goal of placing everything in "keep it, toss it, or donate it" piles.  

Working in the garage is relaxing, mind-numbing, emotional, thought-provoking and exhausting. It's like visiting a therapist. As I'm going through the boxes, I'm remembering a variety of events with as many emotions as could be named. I've found cards from people I've lost, photos of carefree days, tiny hand prints from my kids, and mementos of so many events. 

Digging through this has made me smile, cry, laugh, get angry and realize that life is messy. It's all those events packed up in boxes, both literally and figuratively, that you have to unpack every now and then to understand how you got from point A to point B. 

Psalm 56:8 You number my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle; are they not in Your book? 

Escape

There are days when I love my job and days when I don't. Each August seems to be the latter. It's a test of endurance, lots of stress and all-around wondering when it will end, as we attempt to award financial aid to students who are submitting information at the last minute. Exhaustion plays a big role and I hit my limit earlier this year. For that reason, I decided to take a day away from work last Tuesday.

There were a couple of reasons for the escape. I didn't get enough sleep on Sunday night and didn't perform well at work on Monday; I hadn't seen my son in a couple of weeks; and I just wanted to get in my car and drive.

I found a flimsy excuse to go to Athens and began my out-of-the office day. As I traveled, I pulled out some old CDs (yes, I still listen to CDs!) and sang along. I delivered some stuff to my son at UGA (all of 5 minutes of face time), visited our other campus and talked shop, had lunch with a friend working in the area, came back to pick up my daughter from school, set up Fitbits for mom and dad, then headed home.

It sounds kind of dull, but it was one of the best days I've had in a while. It was an opportunity to let go the cares of the job, the constant working around the house, and give my mind a chance to rest. I need to learn how to keep the pressure from building. I need to remember these instructions more often.

Psalm 124:7-8 Our soul has escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.